Beware the Toothpick Fish!

No, seriously. Beware the toothpick fish. Better known as the candiru of the Amazon basin, this nasty little translucent parasite has a worse reputation than the piranha.

The candiru hunts down fish by following the scent of ammonia being exhaled by the fish's gills. Once the candiru has found the ammonia source, it latches on to the flesh and digs its way in until it hits an artery. Then it goes to town with its razor teeth. The host fish is unable to dislodge the candiru due to the umbrella-like array of spines it uses to lodge itself firmly in place. The attack lasts for several minutes before the candiru detaches and goes on its merry way. The host fish rarely survives the attack.

Well, guess what happens when a human pees in the water and there's a candiru lurking nearby? It's a case of horrific mistaken identity. The attack ensues just as outlined above, only the candiru has to dig further into the...nether regions...of the hapless victim to strike gold.

Sleep well tonight. The world can be a very ugly place.

Thanks for the nightmares, Martha. I now have one more reason not to go swimming in the Amazon River.

Photo source: Oregon Piranha Exotic Fish Exhibit