Jun 12, 2010

More about Hippos!

Go on, laugh, I dare you! Photo care of Animal Review (which is VERY funny!)

Hippo’s have been featured here at UgO a lot. There is a reason. There are few creatures that skirt that thin line between cute hilarity and bone-gnawing Terror like Hippopotamus amphibious

Picture thanks to Tetrapod Zoology in fact this entire post is inspired by the latest post there. :) Love you Darren!

I bring them back because truly, they are the MOOSE of Africa. This means two things:

1) They are one of the most lethal animals on their continent. While people are freaking out about big cats, crocs or bears, Hippos and moose are happily kicking the crap out of anyone that crosses their path, in the wrong way.

YOU say you want a hippopotamus for Christmas Bi@#$? Photo thanks to Animal Review

2) They will stomp you to death in the split second you spend wondering if you want to run, cuddle or sing about them.

The guy in the video lived, he's lucky. Next time, approach a Bison in Musk maybe...

I consider this a public service. I’m telling you that while you may have a visceral reaction to spiders mice or bears, statistically speaking, you are WAY more likely to meet your maker face-to-snout with an enormous ungulate. And if that sounds funny to you, consider this picture of a hippo skull:

All the better to NOM YOU TO DEATH with my dear! Picture care of Laelaps!

So here are some fun pictures and videos to bring the message home. I have fewer Moose shots because the majority of them on the web seem to be hunting-related.

Go ahead and tell her that her butt looks big. I'll just be over behind this boulder, laughing
Picture care of CUTE OVERLOADJust in case you didn't realize Moose were FRIGGIN HUGE, view from an Alaskan back yard window. Care of What's Cool In Alaska which has a GREAT set of rules when dealing w/ Moose.

Just in case you're not convinced yet this video shows a hippo SCHOOLING a huge croc and dragging off it's meal. Yes, they do eat meat sometimes. Nature is crazy like that.

If you are sensitive, skip the last bit of the video after the hippo goes back for the Croc's meal. It's not quite dead. The Croc gets away though, if you are worried.

Are you a gamer? Here's some Moosie Mahem of a World of Warcraft Nature: Boy Attacked by moose 'feigns death' saves his sister.

Previous Hippo UgO:

Dentist's Worst Nightmare

Hippos like to lick crocs

Half Ton Hide

Other things they do to Crocs. :(

how do you think you'd fair?


Anonymous said...

If I was the guy in the moose video, I'd be kinda pissed at the guy that was shooting the video. Not that I would have intervened either. No point in both of us getting stomped.

Arachnophile said...

I thought of that too. There was at least on vehicle went by too. Uhm... little help here?

Anonymous said...

You didn't mention their one habit that is the reason why I put hippos on my "ew yuck" list: hippos, whenever they defecate, they swish their tails back and forth and fling the stuff everywhere as part of marking their territory. Very disgusting! I very nearly experienced this behavior in a very unfortunate way in a zoo one time... never ever stand behind a hippo.

Dolce♥Bunny said...

wow, this is so interesting... I've always though of hippos to be darling cute and calm animals but I was definitely wrong. I can't see hippos the way I thought they were... :(

Arachnophile said...

Anon - I totally forgot that part. It's something to "see" for sure. You don't want to stand behind or anywhere near them when the tail is spreading the joy around. X-p Good point.

@ Dolce - well... Go look up pygmy hippos and you'll feel a lot better. There's some video of a baby pygmy hippo that is to die for.

No wild animal is really as calm or cute as we imagine. :)

Amanda Phillips said...

I might suggest ditching that last picture. At best, it unintentionally falls into a long tradition of framing blacks as less than human - this being an ugly animal site, after all. At worst... well, I don't like to assume the worst of otherwise great folks. I'm a longtime reader of UgO and I know it's going through some changes, but this is not funny, and it links to a website that is, in actuality, extremely racist, sexist, not family-friendly, etc. I don't think you want that association.

Arachnophile said...

Ah... fair enough Amanda. I was under the impression that this fellow called HIMSELF the hippo man. Racist connotations didn't even occur. I came to the picture via google and didn't look at the website at all. It's just linked to be accurate.


It's an ongoing joke that I'm terrified of primates and well, humans are primates - all of them.

I didn't mean to offend in any way. It's gone

Amanda Phillips said...

Yeah, I know a lot of time it's difficult to recognize when innocent humor plays into a more sinister history. I appreciate the swift/not angry response... I wasn't trying to offend either. :) Looking forward to your future posts!

tamedimpala said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.