Ankole Cattle

You're looking at a herd of ankole cattle, native to East and Central Africa. They are known for their gentleness, rich milk, and tasty meat...and of course, for becoming increasingly endangered due to human encroachment into their habitat. I'd be willing to take a few in to help preserve them. But I'm afraid of those horns. My fleeing bum wouldn't survive an encounter with them.

Photo source: Yahoo!

Equal Opportunity

I've posted quite a few times on the elephant seal. But only recently have I noticed what a sexist I am. I have only posted on the male of this species.

So, here's my equal opportunity make-up post. Behold the female elephant seal. Still ugly, though not endowed with the same trunk. I think I'll stick with the males for the purposes of this blog.

Photo source: Homestead.com

Disparate Uglies

Here are two completely unrelated photos from Yahoo! Photos. The first one is of a king vulture, a previous guest to UgO. Just imagine that beak buried in a carcass. Lovely.

But the second one is a bit of a cheap shot. It's the rear end of an elephant. Rear ends are rarely good looking in the animal kingdom. But this one deserves particular mention.

Thanks for the photos, Banno.

Myostatin STAT!

In the wake of Wendy the Whopper Whippet, Aaron sent me a link to a few more over-muscled critters.

I found the cows on the site to be particularly noteworthy. The sad thing here is that these cows are often bred to isolate the gene that hinders the production of myostatin, resulting in the large, lean muscle mass you see here.

Some advocate eliminating these strains of cattle (the belgian blue below, in particular). I don't know about that, but I do intend to ask the next restaurant that serves me a burger if they serve meat from cattle that have myostatin problems. I'm sure the server will know the answer.

Photos from: Who-Sucks.com

Jabba the Seal

This pinniped, strictly speaking, isn't terribly ugly, though it does have a bit of the Jabba the Seal thing going on.

But I challenge you with this: if you didn't know it was a seal, and you were a newby to the frozen tundra, what would you think of this creature peering out at you from the blue depths, with its coal-black eyes and the hint of massive bulk lying beneath the surface of the water? I guarantee that you'd be running for your life, with your gortex pants filling up with bowel excreta. That's ugly.

Thanks for the link, Rasmus.

Photo source: Grrl Scientist

Lying-in-Wait Walrus

I can only guess how my nervous system would react if I walked up to an ice hole, fishing pole and bucket in hand, and saw this walrus staring back up at me. I would hope that on top of my screaming and wetting myself that I would also suffer acute short-term memory loss.

Photo source: Knuttz

Transmitter

Elephant seals are massive animals. There's a lot of surface area on which to plant a transmitter. I wonder why the researcher chose the head of all places as the best place to afix this one. Seems inconvenient to me, but what do I know? My transmitter was firmly planted on my rump years ago and it hasn't hindered me much at all.

Unless, of course, as Rasmus pointed out, the transmitter also functions as a mind control device. I can only imagine the power one would wield with a swarm (pod, herd, school, gaggle...) of elephant seals under one's control...

As a side note, how did the photographer manage to get both mommy and baby to look at the camera? I can't get my own kids to cooperate like that, and they don't weigh enough to smother me! Regardless, that transmitter makes this otherwise touching picture look eerie and incongruous.

Thanks for the link, Rasmus.

Photo source: Deep Sea News

Not A Bovine Expert

The curly locks on the beard and those disinterested eyes - oh, and that tongue - all combined to prompt me to post this photo.

I'm thinking this beast is a yak, but I am far from a bovine expert (unless you want to talk steak). Did you know that there are twenty four species of medium-sized to large ungulates (a group to which bovines belong) out there? I didn't either. I don't have the time to compile a comprehensive list of said ungulates, but I imagine most have been yoked with a plow or have been bred for the dinner plate.

UPDATE: I am a fool. According to many of you, this is no cow, but a goat! Most likely an angora. One of you should be running this blog, not me.

Photo source: Knuttz.net

Never Mind

This elephant seal's many double chins make it look as though it is smiling ear to ear! Oh wait, I don't see any ears. I...uh. Hmm, there's a trunk. Um.

I'm very confused right about now. All I know is that bull elephant seals can get to be three times larger than cows. No, I mean, than elephant seal cows.

Ugh. Never mind.

Photo source: Knuttz.net

Your Quote Here

This is a photo of a walrus being playful with his trainer. I thought it a good opportunity for you to come up with some possible taglines that might go along with this photo (most of you are more clever than I, after all). Feel free to comment.

Thanks for the photo, Patrizio.

Career Choice

Elephant seals are known to be enormous and aggressive. This photo demonstrates both. While I understand the desire to want to work with marine mammals, after looking at this beast's eyes I might reconsider my choice of career. This trainer is due either for the hospital or the career counselor's office.

Do you see the little seal pup in the lower right-hand corner? He's wondering when mommy's going to finally eat the guy.

Thanks for the photo, Jared.

Photo courtesy: www.nuxx.net

Watch Your Back

Put the phone down, Mr. Walrus. There is no plastic surgeon, dentist, barber, or opthalmologist alive that can help you.

I can only imagine that it is no easy task to train a walrus to hold a phone to his ear. But I wonder at how smart it is. Look at his blood-shot and bulging eyes. He just might be at the break point. Watch your back, Mr. Trainer.

Photo courtesy: Yahoo!

Filling the Void

(must fight urge to refer to Hungry Hungry Hippos ... must not ... must control ...)

Whew. There. I was able to wrestle that demon into submission.

Speaking of wrestling - and taking on wildlife bodily - I hope this guy doesn't think he can fill the void left by Steve Irwin's death. Crocs are one thing, hippos quite another, my ambitious friend. Shear bulk and having a brain larger than a walnut make this beast far more formidable.

Photo courtesy: Yahoo!

Need Some Learnin'

I understand the reasons behind the sheer bulk of this animal, the mass of it. I understand the lung capacity, the 'sleek' shape for swimming, etc. What I don't get is the nose. I need some learnin' here - does anyone know why these beasts have the noses they do?

Photo courtesy: www.wonderclub.com

Dental Hygiene

Normal hippos are ugly enough, but there is something disturbing about these little guys. I don't see how they can even show their faces in public. Compared to their Nile-based cousins, these pygmies only get to be at most 550 lbs and 5 feet in length! How shameful.

This one (in London) is at least taking some steps to clean up its image.

Photo courtesy: Yahoo!

What Are the Penguins up to?

The large and intimidating bull elephant seal is hard to miss. But did you notice all the penguins lined up around him in the background? What are they up to? Are they here to pay homage to the huge beast? Are they hear to gawk at its ugliness? Are they preparing an attack on the neighborhood bully? Have they already placed him on their sacrificial altar? So many questions.

Photo courtesy: aad.gov.au

Beggar

It's bad enough having a dog underfoot at the dinner table, begging for scraps. Can you imagine having a hippo doing the same? You can't just shove it away with your foot. You might lose the foot in the process.

Photo courtesy: Yahoo!

Hungry Hippo

I wonder who this fellow is trying to impress. Or is it just a yawn? Or is he feverishly trying to gobble up every marble that comes his way? Ah, such mysteries.

Photo courtesy: www.stlzoo.org

Whole Lotta Ugly

Youngin's have a high tolerance for ugly. They haven't yet learned to flee it.

Here we have a walrus. These marine mammals can get to be 11 feet long and close to 2 tons in weight. That's a whole lotta ugly.

Photo courtesy: Yahoo!

Baby Hippo

Thanks, Brian, for pointing the way to this picture of a baby hippo at a Japanese zoo. Once again, we have proof positive that babies can be cute and ugly. Being slimy-looking helps. And yes, this is a real hippo.

Photo from: yomiuri.co.jp